Bravo is hosting the first annual Real Housewives Awards! You can put in your votes by going on the official Bravo website and simply pick your favorites from twelve different categories. Since you don’t have to register nor does the site keep track how many votes come from a computer, you can vote for the same option how many times you want. So spam those buttons people!

Apparently, all the nominees are from the most recent season of all the active Housewives shows (this means no RHODC lol), which is so disappointing because some of the best moments came from the earlier seasons.

Lifetime Achievement 

We start off with the Lifetime Achievement award and…. Where are the voting options? Normally they would be when between the “Prev Category”/”Next Category” links and the stupid Housewives Tagline but no matter how many times I refresh the page it just doesn’t appear. That’s strange. I’m mourning the lost opportunity of being able to vote the fabulous Lisa Vanderpump for this award.

Memorable Outfit

Yes, for this award they actually present the fucking nominees! But the options, on the other hand, aren’t as thrilling.

For some reason, Gretchen’s proposal outfit is there and I don’t know why. There was nothing special about that outfit whatsoever and the same goes for Yolanda’s white pants. So there are four options left.

My vote goes to Kenya’s Phaedra outfit. Why? Because while the other women wore those outfits because they have a terrible sense of fashion, Kenya dressed like that to get back at Phaedra and cause some drama. It’s the most memorable because it gave us some entertainment, unlike the other outfits.

 Loveliest Locks

The only ones out of these bunch who I ever saw get complimented for their hair is Joyce and Kyle. Cynthia’s natural hair is just a few centimeters away from a buzzcut and she just changes her weave every other day so I can’t take her seriously as a nominee.

Hmmm…this is actually kinda difficult. But in the end, I’m gonna go with Joyce because she really rocks those curls. Plus, it’s be entertaining watching Kyle foam at the mouth because Joyce stole the spotlight from her.

Most Shocking Reunion Twist

I vote for Briana and Brooks because not only did she say Brooks sent a text to her husband telling him to beat her, Brooks fucking admitted it. Seriously, fuck that guy.

Best Fight Locale

I wish we had more options from previous seasons, like Teresa’s table flip or Scary Island because none of these can compare to that level of crazyness and entertainment.

 My pick is St. Barths because none of the other choices are really doing it for me.

Favorite Real Housewives City

The voting for this is a little different. Instead of just clicking a button on Bravo’s official site, you have to like them on FB.

This is a difficult decision, not because these shows are so awesome and it’s hard to pick the best, but because the most recent seasons of these shows were pretty meh. I did enjoy the prior seasons of NJ, NYC, Atlanta, and Beverly Hills although their last seasons weren’t the best. But I’m surprised how few votes NYC received! The skanks at the OC even got more votes. WTF? Are they paying people to like their page because there’s no way that amount of people enjoy OC over all the other shows.

I’m going to skip this one for now because I have no idea which one I’m going to pick.

Best Supporting Agitator AKA The Shit Stirrer Award

The problem with secondary characters who stir the pot is that it’s reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllyyyyyy hard for them to not make them look pathetic and desperate for camera time. The only one who doesn’t seem desperate for camera time is Mama Joyce. I truly believe she would sabotage Kandi and Todd’s relationship even if the cameras weren’t there. And she probably has helped with the demise with Kandi’s past relationships. So that’s why she has my vote, even though she has severe emotional problems.

Favorite Quote

I feel like Heather’s quote is going to get a lot of votes because everyone commented on it after the episode aired, but I never got the hype for it. I don’t think it’s really clever or funny.

Ramona, however, has my vote. I loved the way she cupped her hands over her mouth and obnoxiously screamed over Aviva’s bitching in a way only Ramona during a manic episode can. It was really the presentation that made it my favorite. Not so much Heather’s, who obviously rehearsed the line beforehand and was just waiting for the opportunity to say it.

Party Of the Year

I vote for Ken and Mauricio’s Bday because any party thrown by Lisa is going to be fucking fabulous so I’d gladly deal with shitty synchronized swimmers and Carlton’s break from reality to attend.

Rookie of the Year

Ugghhh,I had to skip Carlton’s video because she’s just so vile and full of shit. The only way she’s going to get Rookie of the year is if she put a spell on the fanbase, but since she can’t even explain what her religion actually is I don’t think we need to worry about that.

My choice goes to Kenya because even though she’s a Grade A psychopath she knows how to start drama and keep it going.

Outstanding Achievement in Extremely Short Form Live Action

These gifs don’t line up properly, at least on Google Chrome. I tried opening Firefox to see if it was the browser but Firefox was having problems and didn’t want to open. But their format is perfect on Internet Explorer and mobile so it seems Google doesn’t have its shit together, especially if IE can do better than them. Alas, I’m going to continue using Google Chrome anyway.

 

I’m pretty embarrassed for Kim’s and Vicki’s because their’s weren’t intentional so I’m not going to pick them. While Kenya and Brandi’s behavior was pretty embarrassing I doubt they honestly give a shit since they twerk on pianos and get black out drunk every day.

However, I’ll pick Milania’s because it was the most memorable and something a lot of people would reblog.

OMG-est Moment of the Year

I’m sorry everyone but I just had the vote for Portia and the Underground railroad. When the housewives are giving the granddaughter of a civil rights activist a history lesson then there’s something very, very wrong. You cannot make this shit up.

So what is everyone’s thoughts on these? Do you agree of disagree with me? Also don’t forget to cast your vote on Bravo’s website!